....The Next Day.....

Ok. So, as many of you know, it has been a hard two weeks for me. Losing Chica was devastating, to say the least, for all of us. Even our cat Taz, who wasn't necessarily Chica's PAL, was sad and very concerned about her absence. The saying goes that "Time heals all wounds." I would say NOT. Time is like the cotton ball or the ear plugs you put in the hole in your heart with each day that passes, in a desperate attempt to return to the "normal" of the world that never stopped in the first place to grieve with you. Time just forces you to displace all those emotions that make you feel like "Really? Seriously? Are they really gone?" . The memories bless and sting at the same time. So.. that being said... here's what really happened.

After we put Chica down, as expected, Rick and I were, shall I say, "overwhelmed" with grief. Everything about that sweet dog, and the quick and sudden loss of her, rattled us. Like I said above, Syd and Taz, were very confused and sad, not understanding, much like us, how she was "just here", then suddenly gone. The cat sat vigil near the garage door mewing when we would open the door, as if asking "Where is she?... She hasn't come in yet." and Syd would look for Chica in the garage, out in the yard, and would come into the house defeated that she hadn't found her sister.

I'm usually not the one to be spontaneous about animals. We've found many, a many, and those have "moved" on to either the homes they ran from or their next forever home, but as far as "keepers" go, I understand that there has to be that "fit", hence why I brought a dog home from Mexico with me... It was a fit.

After almost two weeks of grief and sadness, and way too many emotions, I woke up on Saturday mustering everything within me to be THANKFUL... because I have so much to be THANKFUL for... such as the life of a wonderful Mexican Chica, that I got to enjoy, albeit for all too short a time, I still was able to fully enjoy and revel in her light while she was here. AND... my new job... If I hadn't been spoiled by my current job situation and GREAT bosses... I would probably be absolutely thrilled with the new job I'm going to start next week. So, I had to do a bit of an attitude adjustment.

HONESTLY..... seriously, when I sat down at my PC last Saturday morning my only intention was to bid on a used leather Coach purse (RETAIL THERAPY.. SERIOUSLY..) but somehow my fingers typed "petfinder.com"..... Seconds later there was this little face, third down from the top... No name, just "PUPPY". I called and they said she was still there. I took 5 minutes to give Rick the link and I said I was going to see her. I arrived at the shelter, was pointed through the door to the kennels. I quickly, and I mean quickly walked past each stall in search of my find... at the very end, in a chain link end cap, were three puppies. I knelt down and two rushed the fence, very exuberant, and just behind them the third puppy tentatively approached me between the two. Literally, 2 seconds passed and I was quickly back to the front desk to tell them I needed to speak with an Adoption Counselor. I was seriously about two strides before a woman and her daughter who had been making a list of the dogs they wanted to spend time with, when I realized what was about to happen. I was given an application and when I sat down to fill it out I heard the desk person say, "Sorry, that lady just there adopted her." Timing IS everything. Application: CHECK. They said they had a mandatory face-to-face when there is another dog... CHECK. Syd and "puppy" loved each other instantly. Off we went, with a bunch of other potential owners in our wake.... Timing is everything.

So, it has been a couple of days of pure, silly joy (Taz wouldn't agree, but as I typed, she and Pepper were chasing each other upstairs... all in fun and figuring it out), Here's the video from today....the sun is shining, and there is hope for me again....

One day.....

You showed up like a ray of sunshine
on that island beach,
welcoming me to your world.

Little did I know that love that you sought that day
would bring you home with me to my world.

Little did I know that we would have a world together.

You were quite possibly the sweetest dog
to ever walk the earth,
and everyone who met you thought the same.

Our precious brown eyed girl,
you will forever be missed,
and even though it seems like we are worlds apart now,
I know that I will see you again one day.

We love you so.

And she is one of those who make me...

Winston Churchill once said ...."The outside of a horse is good for the inside of a man." Well, in my case, the inside of a woman. They are truly magnificent, mysterious, beyond our imagination, beings of strength, and love, and respect. I cannot express the joy I have when I spend time with them... in the saddle,... on the ground.... it matters not. They are truly the beings of fairy tales. Ask any girl who owns a horse that also owns her.

Yesterday, I went out to ride. They were all in the front pasture, enjoying the new spring grass. As I drove up the dirt drive I rolled down my window, hit the car horn, and called to them with a whistle. All four horses lifted their heads, with the wind blowing in their manes, to acknowledge me. Recognizing I was one of "their" peeps, all of them, without hesitation, turned tail to the wind and galloped to where I was headed... the shed...where all things FOOD.. and GOOD, came from. Before they could catch me I had walked out and 3 of the 4 headed to their blessed MECCA,the shed, but one of them, MY horse... she stopped and came over to me, away from her herd, away from the blessed shed....blessing my heart in ways she could never understand.. and told me that she was MINE and I was HERS. Together we walked to the shed, which held the delicious peppermint horse treats, but on our way there she would stop and look back, and wait for me, then again would begin the journey. I am a silly girl. I know that she is smart enough to understand that there are no treats without the girl who can pull out the bucket of treats, but her little gesture, as great it was to me, and as small it was to her, was beyond something I can put into words. If you are a girl with a horse that you love, you get me, understand what I can't seem to find words for. All I can say is ..I don't know much about him or all the great things he did, but as far as horses were concerned.... Mr Churchhill was right on.

Crawling out of the grave.... to slide right back in...

For more than a week I have been sick. It doesn't matter the precautions you take, viruses are crafty mutating living seekers of warm, moist places to call home. Last weekend was 4 days of slowly migrating from bed to claw foot tub to soak for an hour and back to bed again. Rick actually said, on more than one occasion, "You're going BACK to bed AGAIN?" Yep, rest and push fluids, rest and push fluids, inside and out. Thankfully I had my furry Nigthingale caretakers on vigil snuggled next to me, periodically creeping up to gently tickle my mouth whilst they checked for breath and any sign of life. I would hear a big sigh and then the "kerplunk" of an exasperated dog, back onto the bed, not happy about her self imposed "watch" over me.

I was back to work on Tuesday, still feeling pretty cruddy, but somewhat able. And, as you may have suspected....I started to feel like I was going backwards yesterday, so again, this weekend I will dedicate myself to my bed, my bath, and the constant vigilance of overly concerned caretakers in hopes that I can kick this virus' ass before it kicks mine again.

Little Helpers....

If you have a pet you totally understand the concept of the little "non-helper". They show up when you are trying to accomplish something and they just tend to get in the way by laying down in the middle of the newspaper, your bills, the project your working on... but they do it in such a way that it is annoyingly cute. Do you have a furry four legged child like that? This is Taz helping me decide whether to go with the dark tile on the left or the light tile on the right....I asked her which one went best with the marble/glass tile border I choose. She obviously picked the dark tile.

Be still where you are..........

Okay.... I've been remiss.... I'm not a good blogger... OR a blogger's blogger (you know who you are..and you know me cuz I always comment on your thoughts, just hold mine back).

My very good friend is going to Mexico and has invited me to tag along. I want to go but I want to stay too. I love all of those around me, they center me. Sometimes it's scary how much of a homebody I am. I have developed those things I LOVE, much like Oprah's "Favorite Things"; LOVE (family, friends, furry 4-legged Angels), WATER (shower, hot tub, drinking), A WARM BED (a well made bed is a wonderful thing), FIRE (that flickers; candle by tub, fire at campsite, fireplace, etc.), A HOME (to come home to), SURPRIZES (Finding the unexpected when you least expect it), COOKING (it means you have the means to break bread for loved ones which, to me = PEACE), and the very most important is CONTENTEDNESS.

Truly, I believe, the secret to life is contentedness.... Love (first and foremost, you know we all can find it), Peace (it's hand in hand with love, I'd say), and contentedness (simple, simple, simple... if you're willing to be). Life is simple when you let it be. When you stop rushing forward and be still, sometimes you find.



Between the usual, ordinary days... sometimes God gives us the extraordinary, He blesses us and takes us by surprise and all we can do is feel grateful, thankful, and most assuredly overwhelmed.



My center, when I'm allowed to feel it, is serene contentedness, when I can sit back and take it in, and overflow, and ooze with that which I am saturating my heart with. That, my friend.... is a lovely thing.

All Saints Day....St. Tazisimo...

They are, you know... they're 4-legged saints... or maybe angels, if you must. They bless us and make us smile when we want to cry, bring us out when we want to curl up and hide...make us cry for joy at their antics and yet they hold a common bond to those who came before them. They are similar but, oh so, very, very different... which makes us love them for who they are.

You all know what I'm talking about. We do it again because of the last "angel" who tread their paws upon our hearts, but we are quickly reminded that they are gone and this new, little creature has very different "fingerprints of God" written all over them. They look into our souls, and know our most intimate ways, for they live with us, and love us without measure or judgment, and we realize that they are their own, special, individual beings, regardless of how much they remind us of their sister spirits. And they remind me, how very thankful we should be. All the time.